When “We’re All Family”
Have you ever worked somewhere that proudly voiced, “We’re all family here”, only to find out that the environment was anything but nurturing? A phrase that is supposed to create a sense of belonging, but is met with a mask for dysfunction. Instead of honest care, it can be used to excuse overwork, silence dissent, or minimize the harm caused by poor leadership. I know this firsthand. I worked for a company that took pride in being a family. We spent long hours together, shared meals, celebrated milestones, and built what felt like deep connections. We believed the words because we lived so much of our lives side by side. But when the company faced its first-ever round of layoffs, the mask slipped.
The First Cut Hurts the Deepest
When leadership announced layoffs, many of us were blindsided. There was no courtesy from the CEO, someone we had worked with closely, sat in regular meetings with, and often heard speak about culture and care. No message of compassion or acknowledgment of our contributions. Just silence.
Not even a simple thank you for the years of work we poured in. Not a letter of recommendation, not a note of support, not even a willingness to share our names across their networks to help us land a new role. Nothing. The fact is, we all understand that layoffs happen. We knew the circumstances. But what hurt most wasn’t the fact that jobs were cut; it was the way it was done. The lack of humanity in the moment where humanity mattered most revealed just how shallow the “family” talk had been.
Leadership Accountability in Times of Crisis
Moments like this are defining for leaders. Anyone can lead when profits are up and the team is celebrating. But authentic leadership shines through in the tough times, in how you communicate, how you treat people on the way out, and how you acknowledge the work that made the company possible in the first place.
Leaders often talk about culture, loyalty, and belonging, but these words are put to the test when things fall apart. A simple and easy thank you, a letter of recommendation, a LinkedIn post celebrating the contributions of those let go - small acts cost nothing but mean everything in challenging times. They preserve dignity. They remind people that they mattered. And in an industry where networks are everything, a CEO vouching for a former employee can be the difference between months of struggle and a smooth landing into the next opportunity.
When leaders fail to do this, it doesn’t just damage the people being let go; it damages trust with those who remain. Employees watch closely, and how leadership treats those exiting is a preview of how they themselves may be treated someday. Silence erodes morale, while compassion builds lasting respect.
The Unexpected Family That Emerged
Here’s the part that surprised me: while the company failed to show up as family, the people did. Those of us laid off together bonded in a way that outlasted the job itself. We checked in on each other, if not daily. We shared job leads. We vented frustrations and celebrated small wins (which really help on tough days). It turned out that the “family” wasn’t the company, but the relationships forged in the fire of shared experience. The real family was the group of us who walked out the door together, supporting each other through uncertainty. That connection was authentic. That bond was built on mutual respect and care, not corporate branding.
Lessons From a “Family” That Wasn’t
That season taught me a few things:
“We’re all family” is a red flag. Healthy workplaces don’t need to dress themselves up in familial language; they prove their care through transparent communication, fair treatment, and respect.
Toxic positivity hides real harm. Polished slogans often cover up environments where people feel undervalued, overworked, or replaceable.
People make the culture, not the company. The true gift of that difficult time was realizing that the coworkers I walked alongside were the ones who embodied family, not the organization that let us down.
Leadership is revealed in crisis. The silence from leadership spoke louder than any town hall pep talk ever could.
Moving Forward
When I hear “We’re all family” at work, I stop for a moment and look for proof in how leaders communicate, how they handle challenging moments, and how individuals are treated when no one is watching. Because family isn’t a slogan, it’s a practice.
Lastly, while that company’s family narrative didn’t turn out to be rotten and hollow, because I did walk away with a new family, the colleagues who were friends and have now become family, and the people who showed up when it mattered most, sometimes, family is not what the company claims it to be; it’s what you build together when the dust settles.